Rest in peace, sweet Mona.

Ruby at the hospital. You can see part of the lump at the tips of Matt's fingers. It was huge.

I'll continue to update this week, hopefully let everyone know how the lump is going away. Ruby and I want to thank EVERYONE for their thoughts and prayers. ♥

Also, a BIG thank you to henderson bas kohn (Ruby's office) for the beautiful flowers. How amazing is it that I get to take her to work and that they care about us to do something so thoughtful?

I called my regular vet on Monday morning, December 20, and set up an appointment for as soon as they could see us. I called my friend Marina to come with me because I'm such a wreck. We went in at noon and the mood of this visit was markedly less optimistic. We did the xrays then and there. The vet ruled out abscess and a foreign body. She said it appeared to be a tumour and should be further examined right away. She referred us back to the Mississauga Oakville Veterinary Emergency Hospital to see an internal medicine doctor and have an ultrasound of the area.

I called Matt and he met me there. This doctor said it could be a number of different things and just that sentence made me feel better. They did the ultrasound but it didn't indicate as much as they hoped. For the needle aspiration they told us that due to the nature of the mass they would have to do a deep one and as such they had to sedate Ruby. We went home and came back later to pick her up, after the sedation had mostly worn off. This time Matt slept by her but I could hardly sleep and came running downstairs with every peep she made.

Today, Tuesday December 21, has been rough. Lack of sleep, lack of food and total worry about the results. Ruby on the other hand seems relatively perky today. She's eating, drinking and is more mobile than she has been in days. We even went for a walk around the block.

Then we got the call. The FNA results indicated inflammation. This means it's likely an infection, like maybe an infected tooth root. This is really great news but he did say that although this is a good sign, cancer still cannot be 100% ruled out at this point. In order to get all the information we can about the mass, we are going to do an MRI tomorrow. Depending on what that shows, she may or may not be in surgery as soon as Thursday.

We are not completely out of the woods yet, so please keep the healing thoughts and good vibes coming. It really helps!

UPDATE

I took her to the vet immediately. Aside from being pretty quiet, she was otherwise okay. She didn't have a fever, heart rate normal, no other lumps or bumps. I had been able to spoon feed her some moist food earlier. They said it could be an infection so I was prescribed a round of antibiotics as well as painkillers. If it's an infection, we probably wouldn't see improvement in the lump for a few days of antibiotic treatment.

I requested a needle aspiration immediately but it was recommended that we wait until Monday so the sample would be fresh. I was told not to get ahead of myself and to not fear the worst.

After the visit, my sweet girl sat under the vet's office Christmas tree.

This morning Ruby woke up with a yelp at 4:30am. I took her out to pee. I felt the lump and it seemed bigger. I gave her a painkiller and we went back to bed. She awoke with a yelp again at around 8:30am. I took her out again and gave her a dose of antibiotics. Things do appear worse today. Unlike yesterday, today she is limping and is having trouble with stairs and jumping up. The worst part is she seems sad. The good news is that I fed her some food again and she ate it up so she does appear to still have an appetite.

I on the other hand haven't been able to sleep or eat or do anything. I am absolutely beside myself. I've spent hours online, of course, reading about all the horrible things it could be and what could happen. I've been crying pretty much all day. My mind keeps going to the worst case scenario and I simply cannot handle the thought of not having my sweet Ruby, my sweet little dog, my sidekick, with me. She truly is the light of my life.

I'm praying that it's an infection and that the antibiotics will take the swelling down and everything will be okay. I'm not so sure. It's so difficult to balance thinking positively with being prepared.

Back in June, my Grandmother who I'm extremely close to, had a fall and became very ill, to the point where we thought we were going to lose her. I had asked friends and family for healing thoughts and against all odds she actually improved and returned to her normal feisty self. It truly was like a miracle. I'm just hoping that I can have another one.

Please please send prayers, good vibes and healing thoughts Ruby's way.

Ruby - Please get better, I love you sooooooooooooooooooo much.

UPDATE

When visiting family in eastern Ontario, we always stay at Mountainview B&B, aka Lucy's house. The humans love going there for the fancy breakfasts but my favourite thing was stealing Lucy's toys, and her dinner, and her giant comfy bed. Lucy had such a gentle spirit, she never got mad at me.

Trips to Mountainview won't be the same and we are all going to miss her terribly. Rest in peace sweet Lucy.

We had the memorial without Poppa, who's 96 now, because he was still too emotional. We read a few poems then each of us shared our favourite memory of Brewster. Then we buried his ashes in a spot near other family pets that have passed.

RIP sweet Brew-Dog.

Socks, the famous Clinton cat, passed away Friday after months of treatment for cancer.

"Socks brought much happiness to Chelsea and us over the years, and enjoyment to kids and cat lovers everywhere," Bill and Hillary Clinton said in a joint statement released by the William J. Clinton Foundation. "We're grateful for those memories, and we especially want to thank our good friend, Betty Currie, for taking such loving care of Socks for so many years."

Veterinarians say he was probably either 19 or 20 years old. RIP Socks.

Sadly, sweet Loki, Mickey Rourke's 18 year old chihuahua and beloved companion passed away on Monday. I don't know about you but I was all teary when Mickey thanked his dogs at the Golden Globes and I was looking forward to seeing them together at the Oscars.

Says Rourke: "Loki is deeply missed but with me in spirit. I feel very blessed that she fell asleep peacefully in my arms."

RIP little Loki.